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[ SOAP OR FOOD? ]

by Mike Warren

So, where does Strawberry Mango Rinse go? In a little dish surrounded by Samosas, or rubbed vigorously around in an armpit?

Such vexing questions seem to arise constantly in today's apparently fruit-infused world of personal body care. I don't want to rub Exfoliating Raspberry Body Wash between my ass-cheeks; I want to eat it on a nice, toasted bagel with non-low-fat cream cheese.

Feet smell a little off? Well, then, just dip them in Mango Chutney. No, wait: that's for eating. Perhaps Wild Foot Infusion with Essence of Honey is what your feet are after. Who can tell.

I wonder: can you feed yourself by osmosis? That would certainly save valuable morning minutes. Picture it: Toasted Bagel shampoo followed immediately by a Plain Cream Cheese conditioner while you spread Raspberry Essence Shower Gel all over your sleep-encrusted body. Yum! Then, it's on to the Coffee Bean Enhanced Deodorant and Sweet Essence of Fun hair gel.

I'm in!

© Copyright 1999-2001 Mike Warren (mike-warren.com). This content may be reproduced verbatim in any medium provided this copyright notice and all content remains unchanged.

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